Hey guise! My unreal name is Ruka, and I’m a 17 y/y college student of SPUQC under the course of BSIT. Basically yet obviously, my interests are anime, games, and cosplaying as everyone knows. So yeah, these are all the things that you should know. :)

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26th of September 2009

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Checklist:
* They have to have long hair (but not longer than mine)
* They have to smoke (optional since I don't want him to die that early yet :P)
NEW* They have to be younger than me (more or less 5 years younger)
NEW* They have to be mature (in such terms)




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Thanks to PSN, I now enjoy PS3 games more than before.
Basically, I'm playing online.. only much better than any other simpleton online games in the PC.
Oh look who's talking, the only game that I play is Resident Evil 5 since we don't have other games yet. (Besides NBA2K9 and MGS4)

Licker, sweet as you sound but bites as a hound.
Please stop pushing me on the ground.

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When was the last time when I used to despise the word coward?
Ah yes, back in 2nd grade when I was scared at zombies and ghost.
It does not matter now that I am old enough to understand things which are real and not.
But I do believe in ghosts.
Zombies? In the near future, maybe.

Weeks ago, we had to do a speech and speak in front of our classmates.
It was not easy, for me.
I'm very clueless with these stuffs but I know lots of topic, I just don't know if it is appropriate for our subject Filipino.
We need not to make a speech related to Filipino, but I listed down three topics.

* Why most people want to work abroad?
* How homosexuals appear in the sexuality?
* Why couples cheat?

If Miss had chosen second and third choice, it would have been so easy for me since I have observed the field(lol) well.
Unfortunately, she approved on the first question.

Ask me if why I wrote down "Why most people want to work abroad?"?
I have no idea either.

In that spur of a moment, I thought of planes and the blue sky as I was thinking of a topic.
That's my real reason I guess.
But it's not bias, since it is not related to me really.
So I had to make up some information and gather new ones.

While Miss was checking the other classmates' finished written speech, she told us to focus since we were so noisy, haha!
I did not finish mine, but I wrote an outline and how it should be arranged the moment I think of words.
But she rejected the idea and gave my paper back. It has to be in paragraph form so I took my paper and oh look, the time is up!
Guess I just have to make the paragraph some other time since the deadline will be on Thursday.

Two days later last week, I still don't have the paragraph and the outline is not that organized yet. Good thing Miss gave us a lecture so the speech will be by next week. She did not take our papers though.

Then I decided to make my speech while waiting for Kyun in Trinoma since I'm going to meet with a friend who'll be giving me the Tsubaki costume.

While writing, I have thought of lots of things that I did not think before!
Some ex-classmates' parents were working abroad which left him with his grandparents and siblings, and I remembered how he misbehaves in class. Might be because he just want to get attention since he does not have any at home?

Lots of things were in my mind that day and I wrote it all in outline form.
I was happy that something useful is inside my head, but then Kyun came so I had to stop for a while.
But hey, I'm almost finished!
Just had to think of few more benefits of my topic.

...
Friday and weekends came, and I got bored writing since I have more time at Monday so I did not bothered the speech.

Monday came and I was working on it, but not in paragraph form.
Kyle suddenly told me that she's not going to do the speech, as well as Donna since it's not their thing.
N-not really their thing but, I think they are not used to it. I am too.
I got carried away with their reasons and.. joined them as well.

Tuesday came and speech week is on.
I am supposed to do adlib's on my speech, but only 4 IT students were present and the rest is Accounting block!
We got scared because we were not so close with the Accounting students.
Well we talk to them but we rarely hang out with them as friends, I don't know with others though.
Kyle and Donna decided to skip Filipino class, but Aya refused to go with us since she had written down lots of information about her topic although she was not ready.

Then the last day came, today.

All ITB students' turn now.
Abby stood in front first, then Ticia, Jas, Lara, and Aya.
Donna, Kyle and I did not pass papers/pages for us to be called.
My mind has set for its final decision, that I am not going to recite after all.

As soon as everyone is finished, Miss had a last call for those who still want to run and speak in front of everyone.
I wanted to run there but I'm afraid that no words would come out of my mouth.
I'd look like a dork if I came up there with nothing..

But the sad truth is, I had something and I did not even went up there to at least give it a shot.
Miss was still calling and she suddenly shouted,

"Duwag! Mas pinili nyo pa ang 0 kaysa harapin mga kaklase nyo."
Translation: "Coward! You chose 0 instead of facing your classmates."

Those 9 words stabbed my chest so much that it still echoes in my mind right now.
I AM a coward.
I chose not to be laughed at, to be judged, and to miss an important challenge in my life for something not even trivial.
Let's admit that it was just so simple.
Speak your mind out and voice out your opinion to everyone.

The moment I remembered how much fun I had while making the outline of my speech, I started to get sick.
Those moments for nothing.

And the moment it was all over, I promised myself that this will be the last time I'd be calling myself a coward and to start standing up for myself. back to top?

I. Chase
Last night, I had this really weird dream about my ex.
We were gathered in a place where being wild and having is all you can do.
Then it was time to sleep, I was beside him and my phone kept ringing for an incoming text while it's regaining lost battery slots.
I always get distracted by it but he was just looking at me, in the eyes.
I.. don't look at people's eyes. (.__.)

It's so scary.
And the funny thing is that when I drifted to sleep (inside the dream with my ex), I dreamed that I was in this cream, old-looking castle (rooftop, where soldiers fight) with my ex and his friends, trying to look for something.

That's all that I can remember in that.. weird dream.
I even dreamed that I was an RPG character! x__X

But.. I missed my ex.
He just too cute.
I wonder what he looks like right now?

We haven't spoken for.. 2 years?
I love his.. brown hair. :)

II. Merry-Go-Round

School was the usual, but I'm still having attitude problems. You know what that is.
P.E was annoying- not until we got a perfect score for our practical exam.
We were kinda expecting not do perform the Gymnastic steps well because we are so SO not balanced. (especially that I am there, haha!)
But the it turned out great, and we did well!
I had.. fun.

III. Shoujo Magic

Yoru Made Matenai.
Kimi wa Petto.
Do You Want to Try?

Please, scanlators.
I'd love you the most if you update these manga's frequently.
I'm dying to wait for the next chapters!
And I spent almost 4-5 hours reading them.
PLEASE.
They are source of my inspiration.

IV. Big! Ice

Abby and I celebrated- NO.
I forced Abby to go to 7-Eleven with me to eat my favorite Chicken Garlic meal and told her I'd treat her if she goes me.
You know what she answers. XD;;

As I bought the meal, a little boy bumped me to the point that my food could have been on the ground by then.
Luckily, I was on-guard and shifted balance as I got bumped.
I got annoyed because some people saw me but got over with it anyway.

Minutes later, the little boy was with a little-er girl and started to look at the Slurpee.
Think they want to have some, but they could not since they don't have any money.
THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY SLIPPERS ON. O:

More minutes later and the little guy went out, but the little-er girl sat down at the table beside the clerk lady.
Then there was a.. small commotion.
Well, not actually a commotion.

Let's say.. The clerk lady is sending the little-er girl out but they were both persistent.
The little-er girl also said mean things about the clerk lady, and vice versa so I got annoyed at the girl.
By the time the clerk lady gave up, she sighs and proceeds to work for another customer.
Then the little-er girl stood up and slowly walked towards our direction.

I was expecting that she'd get ice fromo the BIG! machine again, or plot on how to steal our food (haha!) but then she looked at me.. and I saw her. Naturally, I'd also look back.
Then she smiled.
I smiled back.

That's when I realized..

I AM NOW TRULY READY FOR THIS PARENTING THING AND I CAN FINALLY HAVE LITTLE KIDS AND HAVE MY OWN HOME HAHAHA.

No, just kidding.

That's when I realized.. (the real thing)
She is not such a brat after all.
Well, maybe there is a time she has to be a brat but the way she smiled at me was so pure and truthful.

No stranger has done that to me before.
Uh, except for pedo's and pervs.

I have been blinded by her little guy companion and the way she mistreated the clerk lady.

The lesson I learned:
"Don't really judge a person for what he looks like on the outside."

Even if it was just for kissing me up or just being nice, I appreciate it most when someone appreciates me . Don't you appreciate it to? :) back to top?

Sorry, this is going to be an immature rant.

My effin mother shouted at me the moment I brought out Tsubaki's weapon and said,

"Bakit dyan sa anime na yan ang dami mo time? Bakit hindi mo na lang asikasuhin pag-aaral mo?"
Translation: "Why do you find time in that anime? Why don't you just ponder more on your studies?"

Skeptical, in my mind I was saying,

"Because I love anime, and I'm obsessed with it you bitch. Hindi mo maiintindihan yun kasi matanda ka na. Gago."
Translation: "Because I love anime, I'm obsessed with it you bitch. You won't understand because you're too old enough."

Gago is a bad word.

I have never thought bad about my parents ever since I left 1st year highschool.
Yeah I admit that I was such a cunt when I was a freshie-sophomore, but I left my bad self because I have realized something.

But stabbing my pride and interests is too much for me to handle.
So I talked back to her, unconsiously.
With the death stare that I have given to a fucking person when I was in 3rd year that made me push her to the road.
And I regret that I did not push her when a large truck came by. :))
It's sad.

I'm not the daughter who talks back, because I am scared of what my father has to say.
No wait let me rephrase that-
I'm scared that I might end up alone in this conversation.
Even though if it's just pinning-out my side or my opinion, I hate losing.
I have lost for so many times, and I get frustrated with it.

And starting now, I want to aim her fucking goal.
Number one you say?
Let's see, if I get exceptional grades, I would definitely shove it in your throat and make you kneel for things that you need.

Sometimes I feel that I am not that improtant in the family anymore.
I am the only one studying my ass out after all.
So my father still have to work for thousands of fees he has to pay for my studies.
It gets through me all the time.
All fucking time when I feel so useless.

I don't get good grades..
OH DID I TELL EVERYONE THAT I ALMOST FAILED MATHEMATICS?
I got 76!
For the first time in my life!
And now I think I'm going to fail lots of subject this year because, I admit, that I have explored Manila before I study and go to sleep.
I don't want to be clueless, sorry. :))

I just wished I knew how to copy answers and not be ashamed of myself.
In my case, I do copy at times but not to the extent that I do it ALL THE TIME.
I still study even though I may not look like the type of person to study.
I do get hurt when I compare my scores to everyone.

I hate college.
I hate the people that came and went out of my college years.

I miss highschool.
I miss my highschool friends.
Even though the others are such an asshole, I don't care. For once in my life, they thought me how to value something. How to unite with such different and out-of-reach personalities.


Thank you for reading my rant. =)) back to top?

This be my kawaii playlist for my active bloggie ♥
The songs in here are compiled according to my most favorite ones at the moment.
Ne, do enjoy listening la.^__^

Frustrated Unnoticed
by Damone

Paran
by Koyote

Motekke! Sailor Fuku
by Lucky Star!

Ai no Uta
by Mai Fukui

rolling1000toon
by Maximum the Hormone

Luvly, Merry-Go-Round
by Pipo Angels

Silky Heart
by Yui Horie

Run to You
by DJ DOC

House of 1000 Corpses
by Rob Zombie back to top?

Things I want to learn ASAP


1) NX - Pump it Up!
* I'm not the DDR-ish person but I enjoy playing it with close relatives when I was a kid. Then I stopped to play RPG games. Right now, I am very eager to learn NX! My sole inspiration, and probably the very first time that I saw her, is ex-fafa Enola. Since then, I've been asking friends to teach me basics and how to.

Today, I just got home from playing NX for the first time! My inay Maikeru thought me how but I was so noob-ish. And then lots of NX players came by to play to. One of them was my classmate in IT. I was too shocked to see him wearing an FZ shirt. O.O;; He's an FZ member?! He even helped me play which is too cool. ♥

By the time my turn was over, I watched several/different players and I feel so envious. ( TaT );; That's why I asked inay Maikeru to take me with him and nay Pucca to play with them.


2) Drummania
* Actually, I have been playing this on Basic but I really want to master it. I know it takes quite a while but my otaku friends are so.. so good at it. Some uses bass and is on Extreme! It's so frustrating when I can't even hit the notes right but is very slow. But it's all part of being a noob so I understand.

My inspiration? Ex-fafa Enola again. XD;;
I'm glad we hanged out for quite a while before and knew about these arcade games.



3) Tekken 6
* To tell the truth- even if I have been playing Tekken for basically my whole life, I can't seem to master any characters until now. Oh yeah, I don't even know how to block attacks! I'm more of the aggressive attacker. (as one of my classmates labeled me) And whenever I play arcade, I choose random characters. Even if if takes me to Jack-6 (whom I haven't touched for years already) It's good that I still remember few attacks from other Tekken series but I'm having a hard time controlling Zafina, Lars and Alisa. Alisa is pretty cool. I usually do throw attacks to opponents when I'm using her because it deals with too much damage than other characters. Plus, her mecha sounds are awesome, haha!

No inspiration since I have been attached to Tekken ever since I've played Playstation. back to top?

Costume: Finished, ready for shipping
Wig: None, not needed
Props: Finished, ready for shipping


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